Stop Asking People If You Can “Pick Their Brains.” Pick Your Own.
When you get far enough into your career, or at least experience a level of success that makes parents talk about you proudly with so-and-so from church, then something interesting happens: Strangers ask if they can take you out for coffee. It’s not just about giving you a buzz so that you can continue to build upon your success, even though that’s a fringe benefit. Asking you out for coffee is about one thing, and one thing only: They want to pick your brain.
I don’t know where this phrase came from or why it’s so ubiquitous. I’m sure a contestant on Jeopardy! could tell me about its origins, and their mother is very happy to share that acquiring such a tidbit helped her kid earn $5,760 in half an hour’s time. All I can say about this phrase is that it’s strange. It’s strange all around. The first thing I think about when I hear “picking brains” is just that, and I consider what tools we’re using and how exactly we got into such a position. Whose brain is it, do we know them, who is driving the getaway car? But when I consider “picking brains” more figuratively, not literally, the act of doing so is not appealing, either.
It’s not that I want to gatekeep my knowledge. In fact, if I have any, I tend to share it without the free brew on social media, despite my friends’ urging not to. And not for nothing, but…
